Some would say, she was 16 years old in a foster home, what could she possibly offer a baby! This may be true, only thing is not every person is
the same. Not every teenage foster girl with a baby is a failure. For
myself, I was emotionally strong and prepared to study and work for my
daughter and myself. In spite of my misfortune to not have had a
family that would have supported my decision in keeping my baby and what
I mean by this, is I was given an option to have an abortion. I was
pressed and oppressed to not keep the pregnancy. I was counseled for
days that the best thing would be to abort. My heart was connected to
my unborn child, I could feel her heartbeat, I could feel the warmth of
her whole being inside my womb. Her daily growth filled me with so much
strength. My understanding of being a mother was fierce. A mother's
love was unconditional. I had so much love to offer her. Recently I
heard someone comment, when a teenager gives birth while being in the
care of the State "Foster Home" the teenager has no rights to keeping
her child. I understand back in the 70's there were no programs to help
unwed moms much less, teenagers. My only hope is to have the
opportunity to meet my Daughter someday . It's only right for her to
know the Truth. I want to know she is okay, that she is healthy and
that she has family that loves her. What is done is done!!! I cannot
change the past! I have truly forgiven those who did me wrong. I call
this "down memory lane" Two people had arrived to take me, I ran to
my room and leaned over my baby's crib. I held her in my arms. I will
never forget her little face, she was only 9 months old. She looked
scared and clunged onto my blouse. When the two Social Workers walked
in my room, they asked me to hand the baby over to them. I was crying
and begging why were they taking me away from my baby. They kept trying
to convince me it was for her and my own good. They assured me if I did
not cooperate than I would be facing serious charges and that would
ruin every opportunity for me to ever get my daughter back. I finally
submitted and gave her over. They held me by the arm and escorted me
outside into a Government vehicle. My emotions and body went into
shock! The knot in my throat was a pain unbearable. The burning sting
in my eyes could not let me see ahead. I knew some evil was being done
to me. So, back to reality, I was recently very ill in the hospital, I
confess I question if I was coming back home. I did a lot of thinking
while my body laid helpless in that bed. I admitted I should have left
letters or social networks for my Daughter. If she ever decided to look
for me and I was not around to tell her what happen. I decided if I
would recover from my illness I would start writing of what took place
almost 36 years ago. I don't know how much time I have. But, I do know
I will leave plenty for her to read. Dear Milagros, I loved you, I
missed you, I never forgot you, my arms ached for you, my always skipped
wondering if you were okay. I dreamed of you laughing, I saw you many
times as I walked the streets. You were my first Love! I had four more
children after you, which I love dearly. You have two sister's and
two brothers. The youngest is Franky 16, Angela 26, Aileen 33, and
Carlos 34. We all love you and miss you. I would never ever come
between your family or your life. I just want you to be Happy. If you
ever read this, I hope and pray that you will reach out to me. My arms
are still waiting to caress your face and hold you! I love you.....
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